Father's Day - Without My Father, But Not Fatherless

This is the Hardeman family as I remember it. Our lives were filled with laughter ... Even when times were tough, the first lonely years after we moved to a new state and didn't have friends. We had each other, and Mom and Dad had a way of making that enough. They filled our lives with purpose, fun, and work. But we actually enjoyed being together and Daddy was the life of the party, even when it was only a party of 5 (then 6, 7, etc.). I miss that so much! So today is Father's Day, and how do I compose a Father's Day card without being maudlin? I want to be maudlin, self-indulgent and pour out all the details of the agonizing emptiness of this day. But I won't (oh wait ... maybe I just did, a little). Anyway, I was looking back at the posts from last Father's Day (June 18, 2006) and reading the tributes to Daddy so beautifully expressed by so many who love him so much. The continuing theme is that Daddy pointed the way to God with his life. He is having a magnificent Father's Day with both his earthly father and his true Father. What a day this must have been for him!!! How envious I am! I am trying so hard to learn to find my refuge in the Lord, to allow him to be that Daddy I so desperately miss. The months that have elapsed since Daddy went home have been beyond anything I could imagine in the depths we have experienced and in the mere fact that we have survived. It was inconceivable to imagine a world without Dad (it still is), but here we are after all. And God still has a purpose and job for us to do. So like we were taught as children, we work first, then we play. The grief has been debilitating, but we truly desire to honor our father and Father with our lives. So it's time to pick up that life, figure out what we're supposed to do with it and get on with it.

One of the things I would like to do is compile stories of how Daddy impacted different people's lives. Whether it was a massive change of life direction, salvation, career stuff, whatever ... There are some remarkable tales out there and they shouldn't be lost. Someday, it may even be a book. A living illustration of God's desire to bless others through a life lived generously and "out loud" for all to see. A man bold enough to say "if you want to see Jesus, look at me". Far from perfect, but perfectly transparent with a heart that desired to please his Father and an acute awareness that the outrageous blessings God poured out on him were not his alone. He shared of himelf and his "stuff" freely, and God just kept pouring it on. If more people could grasp this, God's work would never lack for funding or volunteers. "Blessed to be a blessing" was the theme of my father's life. It's one I want to share, if God blesses me with inspiration and opportunity. Your lives are the canvas upon which this masterpiece was painted. This particular painting is done, and it's one that should be shared. Please take the time to email me your stories (crsepulveda@aol.com). It's a father's day tribute I am longing to begin.

And Daddy, I miss you more than there are words to express (and I have lots of words). I love you, I love you, I love you!!! I am so thankful you were my Dad, and pray the fruit of my life will bring you joy and many treasures in heaven when my race is finally run. I'll see you at the Bema seat soon. Cari