We Remembered

Yesterday was a day to remember. We gathered, family and friends, to celebrate and remember. It was joyful, funny, worshipful and awesome. Our friend Jerry Pippin from Lorraine and the Jubilee Six days came from retirement in Colorado to play a beautiful prelude and sing, reminding us of our “roots.” Part of the West Salem Foursquare Church Worship team came to lead us to the throne in praise. Then Cari read a beautiful tribute to her Dad written by her brother Tom, and our friend Lauralee Farrer gave a ? (was that a tribute or a roast, Lauralee?) , and Robert did a magnificent job of reminding us of who Tom is and his impact on all our lives and presented an opportunity for those who hadn’t met the Master Tom serves to accept Him (I think 8 made decisions to follow Christ). Our friend Rusty Getter worked night and day since Monday to produce a fabulous slide tribute to Tom and we cried and laughed and praised together. Then we gathered in the back to eat and schmooze. Tom’s kind of party!!

We were honored to have many fly and drive in from around the country and there wasn't enough time to spend with you - we loved the hugs, but needed some good "sit-down" conversation. We will be having another memorial service in Salem on September 7, so we hope to see many of you there. Thanks to everyone who made the trip to Dallas (in the Texas August heat).

I do not have the words to thank everyone who has supported us to this point in our journey. We could not travel this road without you. We loved being with every one of you who were there and missed those who could not come. I am hearing every day from someone we had not contacted and for that I’m sorry. I have been moving through a kind of fog and every once in a while it clears and I remember someone I needed to call. Please forgive me.

Folks are leaving now, heading back to their own lives. Cari and DeeDee will stay through the weekend and then I’ll settle in to my new reality. I am still following the mandate the Lord gave me back in February. 'Don’t walk in tomorrows steps, I’m here with you today and I have all you need for now.' I’m trying – but tomorrow is looming, so keep praying for me.

We are still claiming “We Will Remember” by Tommy Walker as our “family song.” The second verse says:

When we walk through life’s darkest valley
We will look back at all You have done
And we will shout, our God is good
And He is the faithful One

We will remember, we will remember,
We will remember the work of your hand
We will stop and give you praise
For great is thy faithfulness.

We have a lot to remember and we know God is good and faithful.

Love, Eileen

A Night of Joyful Remembering

If you couldn't tell from Mom's amazing post, yesterday was their 48th wedding anniversary. For once in his life, Dad's timing was a bit less than wonderful on this occassion. We had a day of shopping topped off by a lovely dinner at Three Forks with us "kids" and Mom. It had to be an unbelievably difficult day, but she pulled it off with her usual grace under fire. This patient resilience was honed by years of Dad showing up with a dozen or so unannounced dinner guests, new cars he bought on a whim or any number of home appliances and furnishings from Costco. Her grace toward him and/or the recipients of his benevolent generosity was unfailing. It stood her in good stead yesterday and again today at the viewing. This evening was such a joyful time with friends and family who came to say "see you later" to Daddy. We had braced ourselves for the past few days for today and tomorrow. When we got to the funeral home, I kind of freaked out thinking "Oh my gosh, this is a funeral home." In my head I knew that's where we were going, but the reality of the hearses lined up and serious people escorting you back to the smell of lillies almost sent us running back to our cars. But then Mom and I got there (she was riding with me so of course we were late) and the faces of friends and family drove the terror away. Everyone was so perfect in their loving concern, support and desire to share their stories of Dad's impact in their lives. It was a time of much laughter and some tears. The amazing part is that the laughter far outweighed the tears. Their were people spilling out into the halls and other rooms, like a rowdy group of friends at a pot luck or party. This is the way Dad wanted his life celebrated. Thank you all for your concern and shared joyful grief tonight! We look forward to seeing God's hand move as we celebrate Dad's life tomorrow and watch God place the benediction on a life lived in service to Him. We hope to see all of you there who can possibly make it because it will be a party not to be missed.

48 WONDERFUL YEARS

Mr. and Mrs. Tom Hardeman

August 22, 1958

Toms Wife

When I was young and very green, he seemed a prize to claim.

Amazing grace, he noticed me, and like a moth to flame,

I fluttered 'round, his magnet drew me ever closer, 'til,

Our hearts were knit; we surely knew 'twas ever meant that life

Would bring us to the altar rail and I'd become Tom's wife.

How proud to claim that title dear, it meant the world to me.

I held his arm and circled near; he shared his life with me.

We traveled happily through time, the babies came, he filled my life.

As he began life's stair to climb, his stature grew without much strife.

My world secure, my heart sublime, I was content to be Tom's wife.

As children grew, and I explored a life removed from my safe shelf,

I questioned; then sometimes implored, am I someone just by myself?

I stepped out shakily to find a place to use my rusty mind.

It was such fun, but, scary too, to find a realm where I was queen.

He just looked on and smiled with rue, and shared the limelight spot with me.

But even as my world grew large we always kept the view

of what God planned and who's in charge and let Him do what He would do.

And as my feeble star ascended, we felt our hearts unite.

His manner never condescended, for underneath, not out of sight

was truth which never ended; He was secure, I would forever be Tom's wife.

Time has moved on, the world has turned; our halo's silver gray.

With family grown, some lessions learned, one thing has never moved away.

The joyful surge, the heart turned light, when first he turned to say;

I love you dear, come share my plight, and I said right away

My answers clear, this is so right, for I was born to be Tom's wife.

There's just one thing, just one thing more, that seems to bother me.

It seems that on that heavenly shore, our home for all eternity,

That God has planned, or so He said, we'll nether male nor female be.

Does this seem strange, can it be right? I must admit some stress and strife.

For heav'n to be endless delight, I surely will still be Tom's wife.

Eileen Hardeman

1999

Services and Memorials

HARDEMAN, TOM

Thomas Lindley Hardeman won his battle with pancreatic cancer August 20, 2006. With his family gathered in celebration, Tom passed into the presence of his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Tom was born August 12, 1937 in Ventura California sharing that birthday with both his mother and father Thomas and Ida Hardeman. He married the love of his life Eileen August 22, 1958 and provided love, security and happiness for her and their three children DeeDee (Flores), Tom, and Cari (Sepulveda). He reveled in the pride and joy of nine grandchildren, Kristin and Bo Flores, Elizabeth, Tom and Julie Hardeman, Rachel, Tim and Sam Tenpenny and Caleb Sepulveda, as well as his great-grandson Bradyn Thomas Hardeman.

Tom spent 38 years with United Parcel Service, retiring as Corporate Vice President. Retirement was a launching pad for the most fulfilling stage of his life as he poured himself out in service to others.

Tom’s greatest passion was using his gifts and talents to advance God’s kingdom and work. The family requests that in lieu of flowers, memorial gifts be made to the WSFC Building Fund, P.O. Box 5928 Salem, Oregon 97304.

The family wishes to thank Dr. Joe Kuhn, Dr. John Nemunaitis, the physicians and staff of the Mary Crowley Cancer Research Center. They made our journey one of joy and hope and allowed Tom to contribute to the eventual eradication this disease.

A celebration of Tom’s life will be held on Thursday, August 24, 2006 at 2:00 p.m. at Bent Tree Bible Fellowship. 4141 International Parkway Carrollton, Texas 75007. Aloha attire acceptable. Visitation will be Wednesday August 23, 2006 between 4:00 and 8:00 p.m. at Restland Funeral Home.

A Grandson's Thoughts

Sitting next to Grandpa's bed for a week and a half gave me a chance to do something that all of us Grandkids were fortunate enough to do. I got to tell my Grandpa everything I needed to, I got to thank him for everything he had done for me (as if it could ever be counted), and I got to tell him that I loved him.I left early Saturday morning to head back to California to attempt to get my year started at school, only to find out that Grandpa had taken Jesus' hand that night. At first I was sick that I had left just hours before he died. I wanted to be there when he exited this world and began his Life. As the grief over took me (litterally laying on the floor), Jesus spoke something to me. Unlike people standing around waiting for him to go, I had truly said goodbye. Although I was not there to see him into the Father's arms, I had the unique opportunity of saying goodbye, knowing it would be the last time I would see my Grandpa on this earth. What a gift that is, to know that everything was said. He knew that I loved him, he knew that I appriciated everything he had ever done for me.But more than any of those things, my Grandpa knew that I was going to follow the path he had always dreamed for me. No, not an employee of the famed UPS, and no, not even a pastor. My Grandpa had dreamed of me, and all of my cousins, to live a life serving the Lord. Whatever that may look like for each of us, he desired for each of us to serve Jesus and to love Him with all of our hearts.And so with all (most actually) of his grandchildren gathered around his bed late Friday night, we prayed, and I leaned in close to his ear and prayed, "Jesus, please let Grandpa see all of his grandchildren here, seeking you, and let him know that we all love Jesus, and we will all serve Him the rest of our lives." Grandpa heard that, and I believe that he had peace.My Grandfather passed on from a life that was well lived. Pastor Pete once said (actually it was his dad), "There are two things that are most important to say about a man at his death. He was faithful to his wife, and he was faithful to his calling." My Grandfather was faithful to both. He loved my Grandma with a romance taken straight out of the Bible, and was faithful to his calling of providing for his family, and guiding them in the path of the Lord. I know what it means to serve Jesus because I saw how my Granpa lived.Though the grief is great, and there are many more tears to be cried, I have peace. My Grandpa is, at this moment, looking into the face of his Savior, and is hearing, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."What an example to follow.Bo (2nd Granchild)

On His Terms

There are going to be continued posts, just because I have creative license and I can. Unlike the more private members of my family, posting my personal thoughts, feelings, and reflections is a catharses and I love to share those with anyone who will listen (for those of you who know me this comes as no surprise). I want to share a bit of yesterday's experiences, and will be just sharing funny remembrances and stories as they are brought to mind later.

Yesterday, as Dad was preparing to go home to be with Jesus, we were trying to "help him" (since I don't know how not to DO something), we were telling him it was okay to go home and be with Jesus, to take Jesus' hand, his reward was prepared for him. And he was peaceful and fine until we began to talk to him about Mom. This is so funny, because on Friday evening, once Dad was at that place between heaven and earth, but definitely not here, Tommy told him Mom was going to be okay and we would take care of her. He got a definite scowl, and dad forcefully said "uuuh uuuuh". When Tommy tried to reiterate it he got a big growly grunt (those of you who know Dad's usual method of communication will understand this as Dad's version of "the look" from Mom). Tom backed off, but I didn't know he had done it and I did the same thing that night. I got the same response. As the day wore on yesterday, several people reiterated that Mom would be okay and no matter where Dad was or how medicated he was, he would rouse with a scowl and a growl or "uuuuuh uuuh". He promised Mom early on that he would fight, and he fought for her until his last breath. It was so clear that he was fighting for her, his love blazingly apparent to everyone in the room. We all have this image burned into our hearts and minds of Dad, arguing with us and even Mom as we tried to convinve him she would be okay. The medical staff were amazed as he defied the laws of medical reality and forced himself to go on for her. It was the clearest evidence of the enormity of their love lived out in the last moments of his life. This will sustain us all in the days and years to come.

His famliy was lovingly gathered around, and over a dozen times, as we sang worship choruses, praised, prayed, loved, cajoled and begged him to go home to be with Jesus, he psyched us out a dozen or more times and wore us down. You all know Dad loved to laugh, loved a party and was always at the center of it. He HATED emotional scenes and weepy females, and his will must equal that of all three of his children combined from what we saw yesterday. We sat in awe of him forcing his body to wait until it was on his terms. Finally, at 11:00 p.m., exhausted and slightly punch drunk (we'd been watching every breath and facial expression since the early morning hours), we started telling funny stories about Dad. We had barely scratched the surface and had been laughing for about an hour when Dad decided it was time to go. He went on his terms, in the midst of the party and laughter, as he lived his life.

"How precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints." Psalms 116:15

Tom Hardeman

August 12, 1937 - August 20, 2006 To be continued.........

Tom passed from death to life at 5 minutes to midnight tonight with his family and close friend cheering him on. We will post details soon.